23 Feb 2016

    To Choose Or To Be Chosen?

    Gospel stage play, Lord, Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Man will debut in Toronto this weekend at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre.

    The production features 80’s RnB songstress Cherrelle who has played this part three times. She loves it because it is so close to her own story. “Every time I chose a man myself, like went after a man, it was wrong. But when I finally let someone choose me, it worked out. The right man is usually the one you don’t expect, it’s the one you wouldn’t necessarily have chosen for yourself,” says Cherrelle.

    There is so much conflicting advice when it comes to dating it’s no wonder many women are frustrated. On the one hand, women are told to get out and demand what they want from a man and make sure he meets their standards. On the other hand, women are also told to sit back and just “be yourself” and wait for a special man to literally just fall into your lap one day. Like magic.

    Rachael Lea Rickards is the creator of Inside His Head, an all-male panel show produced in Toronto. She says waiting around to be chosen is frustrating but could have some value.

    “I can see it from both sides. You don’t want to force anything but at the same time, men and women have lost their roles. Men have forgotten how to court women, and women have forgotten the fine art of allowing to be led at times. There are a lot of weak men, and overbearing women out there, who are looking for partners who are like themselves. It just won't work. If you're an independent woman, then why do you need a man?” says Rickards.

    She also has some advice for women and their so-called ‘lists’ of things they want in a man. “Women keep choosing the wrong man because they keep making the wrong lists,” says Rickards. “For example, you can’t be a woman over 50 years old insisting you can only date a man who has a full head of hair. Your list should change as you grow and evolve.”

    Emmanuel Seegar, writer and creator of the play also agrees. “Men love to chase. Allow a man to date you. Don’t just give in because he says all the right things,” says Seegar. “Choosing the right man is like going shopping… you gotta go through different racks to find what you like. If you like designer, then wait till you get a Louis. You don't have to settle for a knock off, you can get the real deal.”

    From the buzz Lord, Why Do I Keep Choosing The Wrong Man has created on social media and the reaction from women snapping up tickets in droves, it’s clear many of us are desperately seeking answers as to why we keep ending up in bad relationships.

    “I think if anything a play like this will help women examine their own lives, and especially their histories. You have to ask yourself, what is in your history that made you feel you are not valuable?” asks Rickards.

    Lord, Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Man will be showing February 26th and February 27th, 2016  at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 190 Princes’ Boulevard.

    There will be a meet and greet reception after the show on Saturday, February 27th, 2016  followed by a cast after-party hosted by VIBE105.5FM.

    Read 3280 times Last modified on Saturday, 25 July 2020 19:48
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    Camille Dundas

    Camille Dundas is the co-founder and editor in chief of Canada’s leading Black Canadian online magazine, ByBlacks.com. She has won two national ethnic media press awards and a commendation from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Prior to that, Camille spent 10 years as a TV news reporter and producer, working on national shows for both CTV and CBC.


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