If we tell you that we can’t always get there and tonight is just one of those nights, it’s like we’ve offered you the ultimate challenge and its game on. And You Won’t Quit! Yes, that’s kind of hot but there are only so many positions we can try before we start to chafe.
Being the gentleman that you are, you’re most likely abiding by the “Ladies First” rule. We feel bad watching your face scrunch up and become contorted as you try to last long enough for us to reach that sweet release that will never come. We don’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel insecure about not getting us off. So we start breathing heavily, grinding harder up against you, whispering your name as well as God’s, grasping the sheets as we moan louder and then loudly act out the grand finale so you can do the same. No one’s feelings are hurt, you’re happy for obvious reasons and we’re happy to cuddle and fall asleep. It’s a win, win.
Although faking may be easier for women, research shows that it is not exclusive to them. A study in the Journal of Sex Research of 281 students from the University of Kansas found that 67% of women had pretended to have orgasms, but so had 28% of men. Men, like women, faked orgasms to prevent their partner feeling inadequate, but their main reason was that sex was taking too long; they were tired and wanted to stop. More people in this study reported difficulty in having an orgasm because their partner was unskilled (25% of women and 7% of men).
No matter how advanced your sexual prowess, the average man can’t help but wonder: Did she actually get off, or was the moaning merely a show? And your suspicion is warranted, considering research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior has recently identified six different reasons why women fake orgasms. But before your ego becomes too bruised, know that her pleasure—or lack thereof—isn’t always due to your skillset. We’ve got the details on what’s keeping her from climax, as well as moves you can master to upgrade your performance.
TIP: Steal a move from her playbook. Research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 94 percent of the females reported hitting their peak through clitoral play. What’s more, roughly 74% cited the sides of their clitoris as an O-zone, while 64% claimed they could climax through stimulation below the clitoris. So if the in-and-out motion of the ocean isn’t getting the job done, call in some reinforcement from your fingers.
TIP: Don’t neglect her girls during the bump and grind. Tempt her by tracing your fingertips lightly over the tops of her breasts, and then work your way toward the center. “Her nipples are most sensitive when erect,” says Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily radio show. So use your tongue to gently trace full circles around her areola. Once erect, lick the tip, blow, and repeat.
And let’s face it: there are enough conspiracy theories relating to our sexual motives without getting paranoid about our orgasmic or anorgasmic capacities. Ultimately, everyone wants to feel good with the person they are getting into bed with. The Big O might certainly help, but if it ain't happening, let it go.