We all get scared sometimes. Present company included. I was afraid when I moved to Canada in 2003. I was afraid to start new in a place where I didn't know anybody. I was afraid to start a new job with no friends, no mentors or sponsors. I was afraid when I wanted to fall in love.
I was afraid when I wanted to start my first business. I was afraid to speak up and share my thoughts. I was afraid of the WWPT disease – the what will people think disease and more. Fear readily supplied me with a list of excuses as to why I couldn’t pursue my dreams, excuses which did more harm than good. The thing about excuses is that the relief it provides is very temporary. Once that relief wears off – it is replaced by a tiny niggling case of “you know you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing” tape in your subconscious which slowly chips away at your self -confidence. This creates doubt not only in your ability to show up fully in life but also makes one question who they are and why are they here. These incessant thoughts in your subconscious also shines a bright light on your life of dogma – reminding you day after day that you are living a life that is not yours – that you are living a life dictated by fear.
Now that a new day and also a New Year is upon you – you do not have to continue living life dictated by fear. If you are still stuck in the “fear" zone here are 5 keys to help you get out of your own way so that you can live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Before you begin, if you haven't done this already, take a moment and write down what you would like to REALLY accomplish in life. What do you want your life to look & feel like? Don't place any limitations on yourself. Just write. Writing a book, speaking internationally, asking for high profile assignments, your dream partner... etc.
Done? Ok, let's get started. Here are my 5 ways you can break out of the fear zone, get out of your own way, in order to create a life you love and deserve.
1. Stop Analyzing + Stop Trying To Fix Yourself. "Am I qualified to do this? I need to upgrade my skills first, I need more information, maybe I need to complete task 1,2, 3 & 5"..and the list goes on. It is extremely important to accept yourself as you are, where you are today. Over analyzing who you are doesn't get you anywhere. It only feeds fear. Realize that who you are is enough. That you do not need fixing – that you are perfectly imperfect exactly as you are. The person staring back at you in the mirror is unique & valuable and has some great perspectives to share. If you keep trying to fix her you will miss out on her most unique gifts. The things you think that needs to be "fixed", the struggles, the hardships, add to your value and your unique place in the universe. They are a testament to who you are today. When you forget the role they play, when you over analyze and try to "fix" things, you forget and deny your true value and greatness. So accept yourself for who you are because until you do, you will never move forward on your goals in life.
2. Forget What People Say About You. I’ve learned that people will always have something to say. During my Naked journey I realized that it is much easier to talk about others than it is to work on ourselves. So when others talk about you, don’t let it bother you. When people are struggling with loving themselves and finding out who they are, they will resent others who have found themselves and who are following their dreams. Put your blinders on and continue to work on creating the life you love. Pursue your life dreams by surrounding yourself with people who support your dreams as well. Don't delay your greatness. You're worth it. Someone out there is waiting to be blessed with your message. Learn to forget what others say about you. After all what "they" say about you is none of your business. And as noted by Ricky Gervais: “The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.”
3. Take Ownership Of Your Life You have to take ownership of your life because until you do, you will not be able to make any changes. I know that life can throw you some tough blows. We've all been there. While whatever caused you pain isn't your fault, going through life asking "Why Me" will not get you anywhere. Playing victim keeps you a victim for life. I was stuck for over 20 something years - playing the victim and asking "Why Me" - the only way I was able to break through my glass ceiling and achieve the goals I had outlined for myself is because of the ownership I took of my life. Playing victim will not take you closer to your life dreams or move you forward in life. Taking ownership puts you in the driver's seat allowing you to steer your life in the direction you want it to go. Taking ownership is a key step in your life as it helps you move from "blame" to "game". Game means that you acknowledge that things happen "for" you and not "to" you. It means acknowledging that while some experiences can cause you pain, taking ownership of your life will help you find the lesson in the pain and how you can use it to elevate your life and your future. Taking ownership of your life means that you will be able to move confidently in the direction of your goals and what truly matters to you.
4. Pay Attention To What You Put On Your Belief Window What are you saying/thinking about you? Assess what you place on your belief window every day. Check-In with yourself daily and pay attention to your self-talk. Your self-talk always ends up on your Belief Window. Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich wrote: 'our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds" What does your self-talk sound like? What are you drawing/attracting to you? Does it sound like this? " I am stupid. I will never amount to anything. I will never get this right." These words will appear on your Belief Window and by speaking them - you are magnetizing these words/people/circumstances to you. Words are powerful and the words you speak to yourself will determine the kind of life you create. Words turn into thoughts and thoughts can turn into beliefs. So based on the kind of self-talk you have with yourself, it will determine what ends up on your belief window. In order to pursue my life dream of helping women create a life filled with happiness and love, a life they love + deserve, I needed to take: PAIN, SHAME, GUILT & UGLINESS off my belief window. I did that by paying attention to what I say to myself. I've realized that you are what you believe. So pay attention to what you say to you. When you pay attention to what you place on your belief window, you will create a life filled with happiness and love.
5. Let Go Of The Past The past is the past and while some past experiences may have caused you pain, if you keep on playing what happened in the past over & over again, you will never be able to move on. You will stay stuck in that cycle of pain and will never give yourself a chance to move forward, to heal, to love and to laugh again. So let go of the past. Letting go of the past allows you to focus fully on the future. It is important to know that whatever happened in your past, happened FOR you and not TO you. Things happen for us to become a stronger, better versions of who we were. These are the tools life sends our way to teach us how to love and appreciate ourselves and each other. So no matter what you do, don’t lose the lessons but lose the pain, the hurt, the shame and the ugliness associated with your past. Move past your past and start creating your future. After al,l you deserve a life filled with love, happiness and love.
Allow your inner greatness to shine. Live the life you’ve always dreamed of. When you do you will also inspire others to do the same. I leave you with these final words from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: "It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had."
Read 3499 times Last modified on Friday, 21 August 2020 15:28
Karlyn Percil is a leadership coach, motivational speaker and facilitator whose mission is to help women break their personal "glass ceiling". She is passionate about the empowerment of women and envisions a world where each and every woman is living a life filled with passion and purpose.
She provides tips and strategies to help women realize their full potential and purpose in life. She is the founder/creator of The SisterTalk Group - a women's empowerment network where women connect, celebrate and support each other, through authentic soul-to-soul conversations about life, love, career and relationships.
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