Oral sex in the Black community still seems to be a taboo topic, but I am a firm believer that good oral sex is an art.
I believe good oral sex requires dedication, technique, a willingness to learn and a great deal of practice. If we are consenting adults engaging in sexual activity, I think it’s time this taboo topic be realized as what it is. Oral sex is a method in which one partner sexually pleases another partner while also gaining some sexual gratification themselves. Let’s talk about it!
Cunnilingus is the act of an individual using their tongue, lips and mouth to stimulate a female’s clitoris, vulva or other parts of the vagina. Generally speaking one can use the tip or blade of the tongue, their nose, lips, chin and teeth to stimulate and perform oral sex on their partner.
Some Positions to Try:
Missionary – The female partner lies on her back with her legs spread apart, pulled up close to her chest, or legs on partner’s shoulders or any other part of the partner’s body.
Standing - The female stands while her partner is either sitting or on the knees. However, in this position the clitoris is more difficult to reach and stimulate orally.
Face-Sitting - The female sits on or above the giving partner's face. In this position she has more control over her body movements and she can take control of the stimulation by moving her body freely against her partner’s face.
From-the-Back – In this position, the female partner bends over or goes down on all fours and allows her partner to perform oral sex from behind. This position is hands down one of my favourites! The level of stimulation and pleasure is intense.
Some Tips and Tricks:
Start Slow – On average, it takes a woman approximately 20 minutes to have a clitoral orgasm. Since you’ll be there for a little while you might as well take your time and start slow. You may want to make your way down her body slowly via kissing or licking. Play with her inner thighs or kiss/lick below her navel. When you do get to the genitalia, continue to take your time. Work your way slowly from the outside moving in. You can start by licking the edges of the outer lips, spread them slowly and begin to lick the inner lips and around the vagina. When you do make your way to the clitoris start soft and slow; you may want to focus your tongue action on the clitoral hood (just above the clitoris) for more indirect clitoral stimulation before getting into the thick of it.
Don’t Stay in One Spot – While oral sex may be one of the easiest ways for a female to have a clitoral orgasm, you do not want to just stay on the clit. You have her entire vagina at your disposal, move around! Work your tongue from labia to labia, from outside to inside, move your tongue around the vulva, inside the vagina, and around the clitoris. Moving around and exploring thoroughly is a sure way in increase both your pleasure levels.
Alternate – Alternate your technique and stroke. Start slow and then pick up the pace. Lick softly and then gradually work your way to an increased intensity. Switch between tongue movements. Move your tongue from a wide side-to-side action to an up and down movement. Try circular strokes and even try writing your name with your tongue along her clit and vagina. Try alternating between licking, sucking and biting. As your partner becomes more aroused you may want to gently bite the clitoris, or put it in your mouth and follow through with sucking on it and then flicking your tongue over it. You know that saying “put your back into it?” Well in this case, don’t be afraid to put your whole face into it.
Listen and Communicate – Listen to your partner’s breathing, her moans and her movements. Listen to the way her body reacts. When something feels good be sure to stick with it. And when something doesn’t feel so good or comfortable be sure to switch it up so you both can feel at ease and enjoy the process. Make eye contact. Ask if what you’re doing feels good. Let your partner know what he or she is doing right or what they might not be doing right.
Use Your Hands – Use your hands to explore and stimulate her body. Use your fingers to play with the vagina, play with the clit, or to stimulate vaginal sex. Let your hands roam along her body, grabbing her thighs, squeezing the buttocks and fondling and stimulating the breasts and nipples. Doing all of this while going down on your partner will heighten the experience and help achieve orgasm. For the receiving partner, don’t be afraid to let your hands touch your partner’s head and grabbing any hair.
The Grand Finale – What a female enjoys during an orgasm will vary from woman to woman. Some women may want you to continue licking and sucking during the orgasm, holding them even. Some women may push you away and need to have their space while climaxing. The clitoris is very sensitive after an orgasm so when she is done you do not want to be licking or sucking at the same intensity right before climax – ease up a bit, go softer and gently. Not all women will orgasm and that’s okay too. The goal here is giving and receiving pleasure. If she enjoyed herself, you did your job!
Fellas I did not forget about you! I have plenty more to talk about. Please stay tuned for part two.