The most important intimate moments are those that happen outside of the bedroom. Holding hands while walking along the water front or just about anywhere; reaching your arms around your partner’s waist and giving a squeeze when working away in the kitchen or around the house goes a long way to keeping your connection strong. There are countless ways to be intimate, and most of them aren’t sexual.
Many people don’t realize how powerful these little acts can actually be. You can change the course of a bad relationship and make a good relationship great just by being a little more loving and creating, as well as enjoying, greater intimacy between the two of you.
Most couples fight about sex because they think in order to have sex they have to create intimacy first...or that they have to have sex first in order to create intimacy. So the couple fights back and forth about what should come first: sex or intimacy. One usually says, "I need sex to feel close to you" And the other retaliates by saying "I need to feel close first in order to have sex" And round and round they go arguing about which one needs to come first.
A lot of problems would be resolved if couples realized that you can have sex without intimacy and vice versa. Sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive. That is, you can have one without the other.
Sex in a loving relationship should be the physical embodiment of intimacy. It should come from a place of love and connection. Within a relationship the two are somewhat linked: intimacy builds sex and sex builds intimacy.
Within a relationship, sex is the most intimate act, but it can also be an act without consent, an act which is paid for, or a mere physical exchange. A one-night stand is a perfect example of sex without an intimate relationship. Both men and women can enjoy the sex of a one-night stand, but it is a physical act rather than a loving act.
There’s nothing more intimate than vulnerably offering yourself to someone in the physical act of sex. But we can be married to a person for years and never achieve emotional intimacy - keeping in mind that intimacy isn't a "destination" but rather, an experience or set of feelings. Communication is an essential ingredient in emotional intimacy.
There are times when we hunger for sexual connection, and the longing is physical. Not only might we yearn for intercourse, but we want the press and presence of another person in all his or her sensual splendor - the tastes, scents, sounds, textures - and naturally, visual aspects enhance the experience.
In sex, we let down barriers, and we permit another person into our most private personal spaces.
While sexual intimacy may be important in some relationships, the key to developing a strong, lasting relationship is emotional intimacy. Sustaining intimacy in a relationship requires work. Both partners must be able to function individually as well as together. Being emotionally rounded, as well as confident, can allow an individual to be a better participant in their relationship.