SECTIONS CLOSE
  • Home
  • Directory
    • Artists
    • Black Youth & Family Services
    • Books
    • Business
    • Films
    • Politicians
  • Jobs
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Entertainment
    • Books
    • Film & TV
    • Music
    • Stage
  • Events
    • Submit an Event
  • The Experts
    • Fashion
    • Food
    • Health
    • Legal
    • Marketing
    • Money
    • Motivation
    • Parenting
    • Real Estate
    • Sex & Relationships
    • Technology
    • Travel
  • Profiles
    • Artists
    • Business
    • NFP/Charities
    • Personalities
    • Food & Drink
    • Sponsored Profiles
  • BRW
    • BRW Restaurant Signup
  • PCA
    • 2022 ByBlacks.com PCA Winners List
    • 2021 ByBlacks.com PCA Winners List
    • 2020 ByBlacks.com PCA Winners List
    • 2019 ByBlacks.com PCA Winners List
    • 2018 ByBlacks.com PCA Winners List
  • Archive
  • Newsletter Archive
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • FAQs
  • Editorial
  • General
  • Press
  • Privacy
  • Sales
  • User Login

ByBlacks.com | #1 online magazine for Black Canadians

Sex & Relationships

Heartbreak As A Lesson In Self Awareness

Heartbreak As A Lesson In Self Awareness
Cimoan Atkins By Cimoan Atkins
Published on Monday, February 19, 2018 - 13:12
Heartbreak sucks. It is a slap in the face. You can either choose to cry from the pain, use it as a wake up call to stop yourself from losing yourself, or you can do both. I did both.

Crying from the pain, I use it as a reminder of where I once was and where I will never put myself again. The wake up call made me more self-aware. How dare I let someone and something decide how I am supposed to love, nurture, and support myself. The wake up call taught me how to take care of myself first. If I am running on empty, how am I supposed to support, love, and nurture someone else? I had to wake the “f” up in order to bounce back.

I was introduced to the dating world late. Many reasons, too many to list and rather not get into why. The introduction was great. Was on a high for a while until everything came to a crash and burn. Burnt for a while. Because of it, I was forced to deal with my misery. At first, I was riding on a “woe is me” train. Then I hopped on the “Why me” train, then moved onto the “I am not good enough” and the “I will never be good enough” train. I stayed on it for awhile. I did not want to deal with my emotions so I hid them from myself. If I did not think about it, I was not able to think through it and this severely damaged my self-esteem. I measured my self worth with this and ultimately it was reduced to nothing. This crippled me in so many ways. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I was psychologically damaged. I worked so hard to fight through the pain of my childhood and to be back and reduced to this feeling was a shock. I thought to myself “How did I come so far to go right back?” I fed myself with so many negative thoughts and neglected to acknowledge that the experience was a lesson. A lesson to test if I learned anything from my previous fight to get to the top. The top that is labeled Self Love. One day I just stopped. Stopped everything I was doing, stopped everything I was thinking and just said out loud, “All of this is for a reason.”

What is important is to recognize the lessons embedded in these experiences. Not everyone is going to love you or choose you the way you want and deserve because only you know how to truly love you and choose you the way you deserve. We are not designed to have the ability to know exactly the needs of others.

I learned the hard lesson of being okay with my feelings and letting them out every now and again. Keeping them hidden from myself only hurt me hence the devaluation of my self-esteem. I had to learn to care less about what people think of me and focus more on what I think about myself. I am stuck with me forever so I have to be okay with me, being me. Talking to myself in the mirror, acknowledging what I love about me, not taking my journey for granted and being thankful for it all - good and the bad- because ultimately I am alive and every day I wake up and have the choice to be happy. To make myself happy.

So if you ever find yourself in a rut because of heartbreak remember that it is a wake up call, a lesson in self awareness. It teaches you to remember who you are because sometimes we lose ourselves in trying to love others. Heartbreak also reminds you to stop taking things so personal. We are all put on this earth to first love ourselves and then to love others. Someone, somewhere, may get hurt in the process but do not let that hurt be a measure for your self-worth.

Lastly, acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Don’t let the pain drown you but use it as a tool to help you from sinking. Let it keep you afloat as a reminder that you have the choice to be happy. Dig deep inside your thoughts and feelings to show yourself that you are capable of pulling yourself out.

Featured Directory Listings

  • Konvo Media Inc.
    Konvo Media Inc.www.konvomedia.comName: Konvo Media Inc.
  • Zarie Lorne Professional Corporation | Barristers & Solicitors
    Zarie Lorne...Name: Zarie Lorne Professional Corporation | Barristers & Sol...
  • Cleve DeSouza P.Eng., PMP Mortgage Agent Canfin Mortgage & Equity Inc. Brokerage Lic. 11949
    Cleve DeSouza...https:/...Name: Cleve DeSouza P.Eng., PMP Mortgage Agent Canfin Mortgag...
  • Walker Law | Professional Corporation
    Walker Law |...tcwalkerlawyers.com...Name: Walker Law | Professional Corporation
  • CADJPro Payroll Solutions
    CADJPro Payroll...www.cadjpro.comName: CADJPro Payroll Solutions
  • SEE ALL LISTINGS
  • RELATIONSHIPS
Cimoan Atkins By Cimoan Atkins

Latest from Cimoan Atkins

  • How Rejection Can Be The Push You Need to Head Into The Right Direction
  • How I Got Out Of The 30's Slump
  • My Hidden Battle With Eczema

MORE IN THIS CATEGORY

The Permission To Feel Good Is In Your Hands
The Permission To Feel Good Is In Your Hands 13 February 2018
The Skinny On Dating While Fat 03 March 2018
The Skinny On Dating While Fat

RELATED STORIES

This New CBC Show Tackles The Virgin 'Whisper'

This New CBC Show Tackles The Virgin 'Whisper'

03 October 2022
Black Men Are Privileged — Just Ask Black Women

Black Men Are Privileged — Just Ask Black Women

14 February 2019
How Rejection Can Be The Push You Need to Head Into The Right Direction

How Rejection Can Be The Push You Need to Head Into The Right Direction

02 June 2018
ByBlacks.com | #1 online magazine for Black Canadians
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • FAQs
  • Editorial
  • General
  • Press
  • Privacy
  • Sales
  • User Login
Copyright © 2013 - 2023 ByBlacks.com, Inc. All rights reserved.
developed by Nuevvo