Although I currently only have experience with the former, I would argue that, while they’re very different, they are equally painful. 

I have not been formally diagnosed with prenatal depression, but I’m sharing what I experienced in hopes it may help others with the same symptoms feel less alone. 

The early signs began in the first trimester of my pregnancy, and I was stunned that the concept of prenatal depression existed, considering I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it before. 

Most moms proclaim the joy of carrying the child through the nine months and how the hardships come later. There is less talk about the emotional weight attached to the becoming. 

The first few months came with unexpected bleeding and cramping. Doctor visits proved to be of little to no help, with the insistence that everything was normal. This, of course, wasn’t enough for my spiralling mind and the trauma of my relatives who faced multiple miscarriages. 

After an initial blood test, my doctor discovered that I was anemic; it was unclear whether the issue was there prior to pregnancy. They immediately prescribed me some iron pills for the next three months. I later realized that this was the cause of my excessive sleep pattern, which my husband stated was about 14 hours per day! Doctors initially deemed this to be normal before the blood test. But this slight lapse of judgment was enough for me to feel insecure in the healthcare system. 

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The Village 

Everyone talks about having a village during this time of transition. The problem is that prenatal depression doesn’t care about the loved ones surrounding you. It consumes your thoughts to a point where it’s almost impossible to feel loved. It doesn’t help that people treat you differently, and most times it’s not as pleasant or as helpful as they may think. The constant lurking and questioning fueled my depression and made me more anxious to the extent that I found myself having a mini-identity crisis. I didn’t know who to confide in without being immediately perceived as weak, or my personality being tied to the one vulnerability I expressed. The idea that I would have to be checked on at every event or gathering was unbearable because I’ve always been uncomfortable with the concept of accepting or asking for help. 

Having prenatal depression with a strong village around you can sometimes feel like an autoimmune disease. Your mind starts to attack the people sent to help you, and you begin to self-isolate because you’re not entirely convinced that their intentions are pure. This happens consciously and subconsciously for a long time, and the brain isn’t satisfied until you’ve pushed away the very last strand of support you have left. For me, that was my husband. 

The Realization 

For the entirety of the first trimester up until the beginning of the third trimester, I was completely unaware of my prenatal depression until the symptoms built up slowly to the point of no return. The second trimester proved to be a good distraction from my feelings for a few months, as my body had regained the strength it once had to do daily tasks. As I drew closer to the third trimester, my energy levels began to weaken again, and my anxious thoughts became more apparent. I assumed that I masked my anxiety quite well because everyone seemed to be oblivious to it and even commended my strength and ability to handle things so well. I found myself believing the lie I sold everyone despite my change in sleep patterns, insomnia and intense fear and anxiety. One night, I was woken up by the fierce sound of my husband praying, with me at the centre of his plea. I asked him what had happened, and he said I was having “night terrors” and struggling to breathe. The doctor suggested it might be sleep apnea and prescribed some nasal spray, but the medication did very little to help. It was then that the realization hit me that this may be related to my mental health. 

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Never Alone

Confiding in my husband proved to be a challenge, not because he wasn’t easy to talk to or that he would judge me, but because I knew that I would have to admit that there was something really wrong. Admission meant help, which meant reliance.

I had to embrace vulnerability, and that’s when I truly began to heal. Diving deeper into my research on prenatal depression, I discovered that I wasn’t alone.  A community-based study found that Black women are 15% more likely to experience prenatal depression, with a systematic review stating that the number can be as high as 30%. The reality is that most Black women have limited access to health services, and when they do, it’s unlikely that they will be screened for any mental health concerns, as they are often dismissed. Cultural incompetence was listed as one of the major causes of prenatal depression in Black women. This revelation was disheartening yet slightly comforting, knowing that my feelings are valid while still harbouring a deep sense of systemic neglect. 

The Little One

There’s nothing more euphoric for a mother than the baby’s first kicks; no description exists that comes close to the feeling. The baby’s movements calmed my nervous system, and for now, that is more than enough for me. The closer I get to the end of my pregnancy journey, the more I realize it’s not about how triumphant you look but about getting through it. The symptoms never truly go away, but they become manageable when you embrace the love that surrounds you, bathing in gratitude and not allowing your mind to convince you otherwise. I drew strength from my little one, a love letter as an anthem of overcoming in a system that tells us to believe otherwise. 

This article centres on one person’s experience and does not constitute medical diagnosis or treatment advice. 

Symptoms of prenatal depression can overlap with normal pregnancy (fatigue, sleep disturbance). A clinical assessment considers duration, severity, functional impact, and whether symptoms meet criteria for depressive disorder.

Signs and symptoms to report or recognize (consistent with clinical standards):

- Persistent low mood or sadness most days

- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities

- Fatigue or low energy that is not explained by sleep changes

- Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or hypersomnia)

- Appetite or weight changes unrelated to pregnancy expectations

- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

- Concentration difficulties or indecisiveness

- Psychomotor slowing or agitation

- Recurrent thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby 

- Symptoms lasting for at least two weeks and causing impairment (functional impact)

If you’re experiencing depression or thoughts of self-harm during pregnancy, help is available. Contact your local crisis line or call 911 in an emergency, or reach the 24/7 Wellness and Support Line at 1-833-456-4566 (Canada-wide) or text 686868 for texting support.

You can also connect with the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-833-456-4566 or via chat at crisisservicescanada.ca. If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services.