Name:  Roger Dundas

Age: 50

Occupation: Entrepreneur
 
How many children do you have?

Two

How old were you when you first became a father?  

44

How would you rank your relationship with your father?

3 out of 5

Briefly describe the relationship with your father.

My relationship with my father has gone through 4 stages. In the 1st stage up to age 10, I remember him being very strict but for me, I thought we had a great family life.

At age 10 my father got a woman pregnant and my mother left him, and took my 3 sisters with her. My brother and I followed months later. It was a tough time for me. My grades slipped from A to F over the 6 years in high school. I started smoking at age 12, drinking and smoking weed by age 14, and skipping school almost every day.

At age 16, my mother sent me back to live with my father. I was her last child, my older brother had gone to jail and I guess she didn't want me going down that path. I went back to community college to complete high school and eventually went on to college, making the honor roll. My father encouraged me to do accounting after graduating, a safe bet, and eventually became a Chartered Accountant (which I still am today).

I lived with my father and stepmother for 9 years, until my father kicked me out of his house. He was probably justified, we didn't see eye to eye, and all I wanted to do back then was party.

Post independence from all parents, the relationship wth my father is where it should have been all along. Not sure what was going on with his younger self, but in his older years he mellowed into being a great father/friend. My father is now 81, has Parkinson's Disease, and recently retired from running his company after over 40 years.

I always wonder if he had been there for his family at age 10, would my brother have gone to prison, would I have flunked out during high school?

One day we will have that talk, I hope.

How has this shaped the relationship with your children?

Having had a dysfunctional family life, I have always desired a stable loving environment for myself, which we have built. It is not easy. It requires sacrifice and putting you last most times. but somehow it feels to me that even when I put myself last, I still win.

I'm interested in connecting with my children and having a relationship with them. Not to be their best buddy, but understand and respect their emotions, whilst guiding them through this complex world.

Having children outside of my marriage is out of the question. It's never a good situation and is unfair to all parties; especially the children. It also erodes credibility with your children and provides a negative example to follow.

Letting my children know that I love them is a big deal for me because as a child I never heard those words from my father. Especially for my son, I keep my promises and try to demonstrate to him how to respect and love people. Have you met Chase? Let me know if I'm doing a good job.

What do you enjoy the most about being a dad?

Time with my kids and watching them learn and grow.

When I had my first child I wrote an article for the TheGoodmenProject.com, expounding on the positive changes that had occurred in my life. It seems as if my friends saw my desire to be a father, or maybe it was the responsibility factor. I had 5 godchildren before I had my first child.

I enjoy interacting with my kids and spending time with them doing anything or nothing at all. My family is my world. Nothing is more important.