Funny enough my curiosity initially stemmed from an episode of Total Divas, a reality show that follows the dramatic lives of WWE’s female wrestlers. It’s quite entertaining… when there’s nothing else to watch late on a Sunday night.

In this episode, a wrestler named Eva Marie, is exercising without eating because she has a big photo-shoot coming up. After she almost passes out her friend and husband intervene. Conveniently they find a sketch artist to come in. The sketch artist has never seen or met her before. From another room, Eva describes to the sketch artist what she thinks she looks like while looking in a mirror.

Then she comes out and he sketches how he sees her. The side by side difference is amazing. This seriously made me want try this… I didn’t. But it did stick in my mind and made me question what I actually look like.

Securely Insecure

I volunteer as a Big Sister with Big Sisters of Canada. I’ve been with my little for about 2 years and we sometimes get tickets for events. Recently the Toronto Police Association gave us all-inclusive passes to Canada’s Wonderland. Amazing right?!

We ended up spending half the day at the Water Park. Now as a fitness person and just being in my late 30s I don’t really stress that much about what other people think of my looks. I work very hard to be strong and healthy. But as I was walking around for hours in my bikini, standing in lines with bored dads, bright n’ bold kids and teenage girls staring at me, I started to think, what do I actually look like???

If I had to describe my shape I would say, I’m tall with a slim build, though I have a thick waist, and no hips like a little boy, but still busty (not as busty as I used to be) for my size, with just a lil bit of booty.

But then I remembered a couple weeks ago when I was wearing shorts and this guy I know told me my legs were cut!

Then there was that random girl, when I was wearing a cute little sundress that asked me if I was a personal trainer…

And that girl telling me, I have no booty!!!!

So now I’m thinking to myself, “Do I look like a body builder? Are my muscles bigger then I think? My booty is cute… isn’t it?”

What the hell do I look like???

We all have those days when we pass a mirror and we’re all Wendy Williams “How you doing!” and then those other days when we’re like “I’m disgusting!” But this isn’t the same. Why do I see myself so differently from others?

It all comes down to perspective

I could probably ask 100 people “Describe what I look like to you”. Some would see what I see; others would see something completely different. Most will see what they want to see, just as I see what I’m looking for.

Which means what to me as I’m standing here in my bikini, waiting to take my turn to go down the water slide, behind these flat behind having, no body fat having, young enough to be my daughters… teenagers? Not a damn thing as I focus on what’s important; listening to this guy telling me how not to die while diving head first on a piece of rubber on a wet slide over 100 feet in the air, just so I can show my little sister some courage and adventure.

So, What do I look like?

I look like I workout. Which could mean a multitude of things.

The work I encourage you to put in is to build muscle, strength and endurance to support and enhance your overall health. And THAT is all that matters.

So please stop doing these crash diets, these count downs till carnival season, last chance workouts. Just keep it consistent. Your body craves consistency with healthy eating and exercise. With consistency you can change your bounce back weight. This is the weight your body naturally goes back to if you deviate from your routine. You can do this by maintaining your weight for an extended period of time (it differs for everyone but it can be from 6 months – 2 years). Mine went from 155lbs down to 142lbs. It may not seem like a lot to most, but that’s 13lbs I don’t have to fight with.

Train for health and the rest will follow.

In Fitness and positivity,

Devon Jones